For me, the college experience was one of discovery–not only about my interests and passions but also about how to set boundaries for my own well-being.
I quickly learned that without limits, it was easy to get overwhelmed with the all too-familiar the “trouble trio” : college, work and social life.
It was difficult at first to draw a line between the things that I enjoyed doing and the things I had to do, but I soon realized that if I wanted to make the most of my college experience and be a happy person, boundaries were a must.
So, I set a few simple rules for myself:
• Each week, I made sure to schedule in some “me” time. Whether it was a luxuriously long bath, or simply putting on some music and allowing myself to do nothing – but more often than not, it was me hidden away in my reading nook with a good book. It gave me the chance to relax and unwind.
• I also said “no” more often. Although I accepted the occasional invitation for late-night parties and pizza runs (hey, I’m only human!), I often politely declined my friend’s offer to go out for drinks on nights when I had an early class the next morning.
• Finally, I did my best to stick to a regular sleep schedule—no late-night cram sessions or all-nighters!
Related: My All-Nighter (study session) Survival Guide: What I Learned the Hard Way
By sticking to these boundaries, I was better able to manage my time and prioritize the important things in life. This meant that although I still made time for friends and fun, I was also able to balance it with school, work and looking after myself.
Looking back, I’m glad that I made the effort to set boundaries for myself during my college experience. It really helped me make the most of it and be a happy person!
Related: How to Balance Social Life with Schoolwork: A Guide For College Students
Creating Your Own Rules: Setting Healthy Boundaries In The Wild College Life
Between newfound independence, unfamiliarity with college life, and the pressure to make new friends, it’s easy to get carried away.
However, it is important to keep in mind that college is an opportunity for exploration and expansion—and establishing healthy limits is a fundamental part of this process.
Your intuition is your best guide when it comes to setting boundaries. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t do it–have faith in yourself and trust that you can say no or escape a situation if needed.
Related: It’s Ok to be Selfish: How to Make Self-Care Your Top Priority in College
To help make sure you’re remaining true to your values, consider establishing some basic rules for yourself. Here are some ideas to set healthy limits as a college student without being overly restrictive:
1. Respect yourself: Don’t be afraid to say “no”
Respect yourself and your values—don’t be afraid to stand up for what you believe in. If something doesn’t feel right or isn’t in line with your core beliefs, don’t be afraid to say no.
It’s important to stay true to yourself and not compromise just to fit in.
For example, if you don’t feel comfortable attending a party with alcohol and drugs, it’s okay to politely decline the invitation. Or, if you don’t like how someone is treating you, it’s okay to speak up and ask them to stop.
Setting boundaries isn’t about being confrontational but rather being honest and assertive about what you are and aren’t comfortable with.
2. Establish what your priorities are and be firm about them: Setting Boundaries in College
It’s important to establish and be clear about what your priorities are.
Take some time to reflect on what is most important to you—it could be dedicating enough time to studying for classes, making sure you get enough sleep every night, or even taking a few minutes each day to relax and take a break from the craziness of college life.
Once you have identified what your priorities are, be firm and consistent in upholding them.
This may mean saying no to a late-night party if it interferes with getting enough sleep or turning down an invitation from a friend if you need to stay home and study.
It can be difficult to say no at the moment, but it’s important to stay focused on your priorities and not let peer pressure override your own values and boundaries.
Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide what is right for you and stick with it!
Related: How to Balance Social Life with Schoolwork: A Guide For College Students
3. Don’t let people take advantage of you – stand up for yourself
Don’t let someone else decide what you do, who you hang out with, or how you spend your time.
Say no if someone is taking advantage of you or pressuring you to do something that goes against your values.
Additionally, don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it. Talk to a trusted friend or faculty member if you’re feeling overwhelmed or taken advantage of—they can offer valuable advice and support.
4. Set reasonable limits on how much time you’re willing to spend with others
It’s okay to pour yourself into activities and friendships, but make sure to leave enough room for your own well-being. You don’t want to over-commit yourself and end up feeling overwhelmed or drained, so it’s important to find balance.
For example, you may decide to dedicate a few evenings a week to studying or relaxation and only hang out with friends on the weekends.
Establish clear boundaries around how much time you are willing to spend with a particular person—for instance, if you feel like the person is taking too much of your time, you can let them know that you need to carve out some me-time.
Related: Spending Time Alone: It’s Not As Scary As You Think!
5. Speak up if something is making you uncomfortable: Setting Boundaries in College
If ever you feel uneasy or uncomfortable, voice your opinion. It could be anything from a friend pressuring you to do something that goes against your values, to someone taking advantage of your time and resources.
Speak up if someone’s words or jokes make you feel awkward; tell them how it makes you uneasy and ask for their respect instead.
Similarly, if your roommates are throwing late-night parties that interfere with your sleep schedule, politely let them know that you need some quiet time and ask them to respect that.
Related: Take a Deep Breath: Here’s How To Overcome College Stress and Anxiety
6. Know your own worth and don’t let anyone devalue you
It’s time to set the record straight: you matter!
No one else can determine your worth—that comes from within. So maybe it’s time to put an end to the drama and start recognizing that you have the right to choose what is best for you.
No one can take away your autonomy and it’s important to take pride in yourself. After all, knowledge is power, so use it to your advantage and be sure to appreciate your own worth!
Once you do, you’ll be well on your way to saying goodbye to the drama and hello to a healthy self-worth.
7. Take care of yourself first and foremost: Setting Boundaries in College
Setting boundaries in college begins with taking care of yourself- literally!
Make sure to treat your body, mind and spirit with all the love it deserves. Give yourself permission to wind down and relax each day, whether it’s taking a stroll in the park, writing in your journal, or just sitting in silence.
Don’t feel guilty for taking care of yourself before helping others – you deserve to live your best life!
Eat healthy, stay hydrated and get plenty of rest. Exercise regularly and make sure to give yourself a break from technology from time to time. Find healthy ways to manage stress, be kind to yourself and take the time to explore and develop.
After all, you never know what amazing things could happen if you just give yourself the space to grow and thrive.
The takeaway from this is that taking care of yourself should always be a priority. It’s super important to take the time to show yourself that same kindness and respect you would give others.
I mean college is a wild ride, but by taking the time to create and maintain healthy boundaries, you’ll be sure to finish your college years with an even wilder, more confident, and more self-loving attitude.
Get what I’m saying? Know what’s important to you, respect yourself and be mindful of the decisions you make—and above all, have fun!
“College is a time for self-discovery, but don’t get too carried away—you can go wild without going crazy!”
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