Almost all of my friends had long-distance relationships in their freshman year of college–and let me tell you, it was quite dramatic!
Some of them tried to make it work while others had given up on love and moved on 💔.
I know firsthand the difficulties that come with trying to keep a relationship alive when you’re miles away from each other. And I’ve seen the success and failure that can come with long distance relationships in college. It’s not for the faint of heart.
But if you truly love someone and are willing to put in the effort, long distance relationships can absolutely work.
The Pros and Cons of Long-Distance Dating in College
Long distance relationships in college can be tough to pull off—which is why I like to think of them as a special challenge. Like a really long game of Tetris that you have to play with someone else, only there are no blocks provided.
Related: How to Date and Keep Your Grades Up: A College Student’s Guide
Here are some pros and cons to consider before diving into a long-distance relationship:
Pros:
1. More independence and freedom – With a long-distance relationship, you get to be more independent because you’re both living separate lives. This can help you both grow as individuals and gives you time to focus on your own interests.
2. New experiences – Long distance relationships in college are awesome – you get to have all the fun of dating, but none of the awkward living together stuff!
You don’t have to fear your partner seeing you in your natural habitat (i.e. in a pile of laundry and Cheetos crumbs) because you’re usually miles away. Plus, since you’re both experiencing college in different places, there’s so much potential for new experiences and discoveries each of you can bring back to the relationship. Who knows – your partner’s crazy college story might even be better than yours!
3. More communication – With distance comes the need for more communication which can actually help strengthen your relationship. You both have to make an effort to keep in touch and will likely be more intentional with your conversations.
Related: Say GoodBye to the Drama: How to Set Boundaries in College
Cons:
1. Difficulty of maintaining a connection – With all the miles between you, it can be difficult to maintain and nurture your relationship. You’re likely to have fewer opportunities for physical touch and face-to-face conversations which can make it hard to build a strong bond
2. Time zone challenges – Long-distance dating can involve some serious challenges when it comes to time zones. It’s hard enough trying to stay awake until midnight for a Skype date, let alone when you’re dealing with a 6 hour time difference
3. Uncertainty of the future – The hardest part about long-distance dating in college is that you’re both likely to be uncertain and unsure of what the future holds. It’s impossible to know what will happen after you graduate and that can become an additional burden when you’re in a long-distance relationship
At the end of the day, it’s totally your call if you want to take on a long-distance relationship in college. If you and your partner are game for it, it can be incredibly fulfilling and help bring you both even closer together.
Related: How to Balance Social Life with Schoolwork: A Guide For College Students
But if the distance is more than you can handle, it can be a major source of unnecessary stress and strain on both sides.
Before jumping into an LDR, take a minute to evaluate your individual circumstances and make sure it’s really the right move for you.
Tips and Tricks for Surviving the Distance in a College Relationship
Long distance relationships in college are a tricky dilemma. You may have found the love of your life and no amount of miles can stop you, but that doesn’t mean you are completely in the clear.
You will have to confront all kinds of obstacles, from scheduling Skype dates to figuring out how to make up for all the cuddles you’re missing out on.
But don’t worry, I’m here to tell you that it’s totally doable!
With a little bit of planning, creativity, and good ol’ fashioned determination, you can make this distance seem a whole lot shorter.
1. What to do when your long-distance relationship starts in college
Since you’re both far apart, it’s important to come up with creative ways to stay connected. Here are some tips and tricks for surviving the distance in a college relationship:
1. Schedule regular check-ins – Take time each day to talk, even if it’s just for a few minutes. This will help keep the lines of communication open and help you both stay connected
2. Make use of technology – Take advantage of FaceTime, Skype, or voice messaging to stay connected. You can also use technology to share photos and videos with each other, which can help make up for the lack of physical contact
3. Send care packages – Sending care packages filled with your partner’s favorite treats or activities can be a fun and unique way to let them know you’re thinking of them.
Related: 20 Must-Have Items for a Boyfriend’s Care Package That Will Make His Day!
4. Find ways to be together in person – Whenever possible, try to find ways to spend time together in person, such as visiting each other’s college campus or taking short trips together. Having that physical connection will be important to sustain your relationship over time.
5. Trust and be honest – Make sure to trust each other fully and be honest about both your wants and needs in the relationship. This will help create a strong foundation for your relationship despite the distance
6. Celebrate special days – Long-distance relationships can make celebrating special occasions like birthdays and anniversaries a bit tricky. Make sure to mark these days in some way, even if it’s just sending a thoughtful card or gift in the mail
2. How to make the most of your time while you’re apart
The most important thing to remember when in a long-distance college relationship is that time apart doesn’t mean that it’s the end of your connection.
Instead, use this time to focus on your individual goals and pursue your passions. Use your time apart to work on personal projects such as learning a new language or exploring new hobbies. That way, when you’re reunited, you can share your experiences with each other and both have something new to bring to the relationship.
Don’t let the distance hold you back; make the most of your time while you’re apart and grow together despite the miles between you.
Related: Time Management Tips for College Students: How to Fit Everything into 24 Hours
3. Advice for dealing with tough times and tough conversations
When things get tough, it’s important to remember that communication is key.
Try to keep the lines of communication open and be honest with each other. Don’t be afraid to express your wants and needs in the relationship – it’s crucial to have those tough conversations in order to make your relationship work, no matter how difficult it may seem.
Remember that you can always rely on each other for support and you can work together to overcome any obstacle.
4. Surviving Separation Anxiety: What not to do in long distance relationships
1. Don’t overthink – Trying to figure out the future of your relationship can be stressful, but don’t let yourself get caught up in all the “what ifs”
2. Don’t go overboard on communication – It can be tempting to text or call your partner all the time, but this can backfire and lead to added stress in a relationship
3. Don’t let distance be an excuse – Don’t let the distance be an excuse to avoid communication or shy away from tough conversations. You both need to put in the effort to talk the issues through and make sure you’re both on the same page
4. Don’t forget about quality time – Quality time with your partner is essential, even if you can’t be together in person. Set aside time to talk, go on virtual dates, or watch a movie together
5. Don’t forget about yourself – Take some time to focus on yourself and make sure you’re taking care of your own needs. This will help make sure that you’re in the right headspace to be able to support your partner in their times of need
6. Don’t let distance define your relationship – Just because you’re apart doesn’t mean that your relationship can’t be a fulfilling and meaningful one. Make sure to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship and use this time to bring you closer together
If you and your boo are going the long distance in college, don’t sweat it!
As long as you both put in a little effort, trust each other, and communicate regularly, you can survive and grow stronger in the process. Sure, it’s no picnic being apart – but a wise person once said, distance makes the heart grow fonder!
So don’t hesitate to take the plunge – with a little commitment, and a lot of love, you can make it work.
And hey, who knows – maybe the miles between you will only make you closer in the end!
“Long distance relationships are like a cross-country road trip – it might feel like you’re never going to get there, but eventually you’ll reach your destination!”
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